my own reality

What if i want to take risks? What if i want to nearly die?
I'm sick of this reality of mine ..
I want to be attacked by zombies, i want to have a butler that is in reality a demon that i made a deal with, i want to be a ninja and be able to make Chidoris and have a Sharingan, i want to have a note where i can write the name of people that i hate and wtach them "fall", i want to have a human-weapon, i want to have a Dark Angel inside of me, i want to do this and many more ..
So where is my reality, my sanity?
I don't know.. and you're not able to tell it to me too, cuz you're more lost than i am..